un corazón que sigue bombeando

the Heart that keep pumping.

all this years, even decades, i've been wondering all alone

the simple thing that i just realized

i've been wondered the world all alone...

my life, as other's people life,

was bright and beautiful

and

ohh, don't misunderstood me,

my life still wonderful....

just a little bit dimmer...

sometimes, i felt the coldness inside me...

even, some of my times, 

i felt too weak to keep up with this life....

then,
i keep thinking
on how to proceed more than i could...
on how to keep the negativity away...
and 
how to keep my chin up through all the rocks...

dear heart,
I do doubt myself for being so weak and fragile...
for being easily fallen to the lowest level of the earth...
 and
hardly to climb back to the highest...

dear heart,
never pounding for whatever that keep the beat,
do whatever that pleased a lot,
doing the most crucial part that you wanted to so long

dear lovely heart,
I am sorry for keeping you exhausted for almost everyday,
and
never tried my best to rest from the cruelty of the world,
I am sorry again for making you tired,sad
as you need to endure everything alone,
without anyone to share.

PLEASE!!PLEASE!!
please never stop pumping the life and soul to me,
even both of us tired enough to face the world,
as nobody cares as much we cared for both of us.

I am tired of hoping, trying, 
I am tired of giving the best of me, 
yet
i am just making myself more miserable within the time,
it is hard for me
and getting harder unfortunately,
to keep and create a positive me in the future.

despite on all the sadness and darkness,
I do believe that ALLAH had created the best for me,
i need my time to understand
and
crucially heal from everything i fought for.

dunia ini sifatnya luas dan indah
begitu juga dengan perjalanan hidup realiti seorang manusia.
semakin engkau mula mengerti setiap ciptaan ALLAH,
semakin terbukalah mata engkau akan hikmah kau seorang khalifah dunia.

takkan pernah ada manusia yang sempurna,

takkan pernah ada manusia tanpa kelemahan,

takkan pernah ada manusia yang mental tak pernah koyak,

selagi engkau bergelar seorang manusia,

selagi itu engkau takkan pernah menjadi sempurna.

sekuat mana engkau mampu bertahan,

itula yang membezakan engkau dengan manusia yang lain.